Debra Galant Explains the Universe

From horsey to flamingos

Thanks to Barb Furst and Jessica Sporn who both offered to help me with my Photoshop problems. But most especially to Lori Loebelsohn, who suggested that rather than trying to remove the American flag from the picture she took of me shortly after 9-11, why not just shoot a new roll? Here's my only question: how will the symbolism of pink flamingos change over the next three years?

With this pic, I can now peek out from behind that old horsey pony picture from 1958.

THEN

NOW

More on Jersey Girl

An interesting rant about Jersey Girl today from a New Jersey girl filmmaker Lizbeth Finn-Arnold, in which she points out that it's all good and well for male filmmakers to celebrate fatherhood. It's no skin off their backs; they get to keep making movies anyway.

Lizbeth's tirade is peppered with wonderful observations. She points out that society falls all over itself to congratulate men for doing simple things women do, without acknowledgement, all the time.

I know things aren't fair for stay-at-home dads, but come on, now Kevin Smith has created a film that makes stay-at-home fatherhood heroic -- has any film ever done that for a stay-at-home single mother? I mean is it fair that Erin Brockovich has to to take on a powerful, evil chemical company in order ot be heroic and Ben Afflect just has to change diapers?

And that male directors are allowed to fawn over their offspring - and the very idea of having offspring - but someone as unhip as an actual mother isn't welcome anywhere near a set.

So while I appreciate Kevin Smith's little tribute to fatherhood and jersey girls, I find it all kind of amusing that the king of crass set out and wrote a movie, that I could have written myself. Because I kid you not, that 7 years ago, after becoming a mother, I too wanted to run to the top of a mountain and talk about the amazing zen-like experience I had that transformed me. But please believe me when I tell you that people looked at me like I had three heads when I talked about motherhood. And to many others, I may as well as died. In this business, SHOW BUSINESS, I still often don't let people know I am a mother, because their first impression is that I am a "blissed out zombie" who has no place in the artsy-youthful, edgy world of film.

Strange March skies

My street, about half an hour ago. And who said New Jersey isn't beautiful?

Jersey Girl

The point of Jersey Girl is that being a has-been in New Jersey is better than being a Master of the Universe in New York. Or, perhaps more precisely, it is better to be a New Jersey has-been, or never-been, than to aspire to be a celebrity flack. It's "The Wizard of Oz" with Manhattan (and public relations) as somewhere over the rainbow. The point is that if "I go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard."

But since this is New Jersey, rather than Kansas, the yard you have no right to want to leave has a shrine to Virgin Mary in it.

If you yearn for bigger things, you're a selfish jerk. If you ever miss your kid's school play, you're a selfish jerk. If you take a phone call at night on your family's time, you're a selfish jerk.

In other words, give up the damn dream already.

Interesting that Kevin Smith starts his film with such a Disney-esque premise: the death of the mother. Lucky for us, the mother is played by J. Lo. The movie improves considerably with her death. Unfortunately, the best actor in the film is the infant who plays baby Gertie. Those huge eyes follow Affleck with such intelligence that you're sure the baby has really studied the script.

Bottom line: if you live in Jersey and have a daughter to bring along, going to Jersey Girl is a reasonable Friday night diversion. I admire Kevin Smith for daring to be sentimental -- a much bigger risk than being cynical -- but I think it's unfair, and a cliche, to portray Nw Jersey as the repository of lost promise.

"The Station Agent," which came out last winter, was much quirkier and more original in its treatment of love, longing and losers in New Jersey.

Free 9-11 hearing downloads

I just got an e-mail from Audible.com, which I have a subscription to, offering free audio downloads of the 9-11 hearings.

The 9/11 Commission Hearings are available right now for free at http://www.audible.com/911hearings. These important audio documents represent yet another way Audible keeps you informed of the important events shaping our time. You'll hear Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of State Colin Powell, former National Counterterrorism Coordinator Richard Clarke, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and others as they answer tough questions on blind spots in foreign intelligence that may have enabled the worst terrorist attack in American history.

Download the Hearings now from our Web site, and feel free to share this e-mail with your friends. Let them know they can download the audio for free as well.

Blogomania

If a hobby can become a passion, can a passion become a livelihood?

Who knows? But I'm willing to get up at 5 a.m. and take a 6:20 train to Boston on April 17th to find out. That's the day of the Bloggercon conference, which I heard about via Jeff Jarvis. Jarvis will be speaking on the money-making possibilities of blogging.

Here's a little info I pulled off the Bloggercon blog:

Basic facts: BloggerCon is a conference about weblogs on April 17 on the campus of Harvard Law School. The sessions are in Pound Hall.

The focus of BloggerCon is weblogs in journalism, education, science, business and politics. We're interested in people's experiences with weblogs, now that they've been in use for five or six years, depending on who you ask. This is not a technical visionary venue, nor is it a place for political activism. Our interest is in the use of weblogs. Of course technology and politics are related to the use of weblogs.

Cost: BloggerCon II is free for everyone. $0.

Gotta love a conference where the fee is $0. Although, come to think of it, does that portend well for the idea of making money through blogging?

I guess the place will be filled with blogging luminaries (or at least people who type very fast). People who blog on politics and technology and journalism and peace in the Middle East. Well, now we know there'll be at least one person there who blogs about cheese trays .

Groovy

Finally, a School Spirit Day I can get into.

Yes, it's Hippie Day at Ridgewood Avenue School. Will there be magic brownies in the cafeteria? I double-DARE them.

I think I'm in

I feel like Sally Field at the Academy Awards. "You like me. You really like me."

I attended my first book group since - when was it? 1999? - and I haven't been kicked out yet. My cheese tray passed the test. The Cheez Whiz was a particular hit. I said thngs that made people laugh and people said things that made me laugh. Actually, this was a pretty delightful group of women, funny and smart. And I'm not just sucking up. I blog in truth.

Because of the endless blogging and cheese tray fixation leading up to this event, I felt a bit like an anthropologist being invited in to study book groups. They kept explaining all their little traditions to me as if to a particularly slow-witted second cousin from out of town. Here are some of the local customs. They all go around the room and give general impressions of the book. After the first hour, the conversation doesn't have to be on the book anymore. Everybody is intimidated by the cheese tray assignment their first time. Katie - it is said - hates nature. Much wine is consumed. Much food is consumed.

Most of us agreed that the author looked a bit self-consciously slutty (in an intellectual sort of way) in her book jacket picture. That made us hate her, even if we did like the book.

But the best part was, I was the only one from Glen Ridge. So there was absolutely no discussion of bad teachers at my kids' schools, local jewelry parties or kitchen renovations in town.

Rookie cheese tray problem solved

Hula salt and pepper shakers, fancy toothpicks, "Frugal is such an ugly word" napkins: $18.02

Assorted cheeses, crackers and Cheez Whiz: $27.46

Not getting kicked out of a new book group on your first visit: priceless

Some things only money can buy. For other things, you need cute little tchotchke stores like Copabananas.

Borderline Jersey girl disorder

Via John Shabe at nj.com, comes this Jersey girl quiz. Although I am a transplanted Virginia girl, I did score 10. Which makes me a Jersey girl. Sort of.

Don't tell Shabe I was lying about the pizza. Which means, actually that I'm a 9, merely a borderline Jersey girl.

And if a real Jersey girl saw my nails, I'd be sent right back where I came from.

On the other hand, I've lived here long enough to know how to pronounce "ricotta" like an Italian. (ri-GOAT. Am I right? Close?) And I prefer "The Sopranos" to "Sex and the City." So, can I be, like, *cracks gum* an honorary Jersey girl?